Vonnegut

All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is. Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I've said before, bugs in amber.

I haven't written in awhile and this isn't the typical post of what we've been doing but I wanted to share this quote by one of my favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut. It just reminds me that this moment is life, this day is life and these seconds are life. Let's enjoy.

SURPRISE

We're blissfully, happily engaged!!! I would tell you more but I'm playing scrabble with my fiance:) Go to http://web.me.com/audioscott/Operation:_YES/Field_Manual.html to join in on our day.....or Scott's months of planning. It's however you want to look at it. It was the most magical, wonderful day in my life next to the day I had my baby. Like I said, it's blissful here and we are thrilled beyond belief. Wedding plans are in action!!!

Spring Update

Well, to run through a lengthy update as quickly as possible is nearly IMPOSSIBLE so I will try my best to remember everything and keep it short. This past month and a half have been wonderful. I made a trip to Indiana with Brooklyn and a friend. I got to spend some wonderful time with my mom, went shopping, made it to see my BF in Odon and Brooklyn got to see her grandparents. It was quite nice. Shortly after coming home my mom and bother, Toby, made a trip down so we got even more great time in. Last weekend they came down again and it was the best weekend ever. Mom, Toby, Brooklyn and I all went to Memphis to see Graceland. I have always wanted to go so it was so nice to experience it with my little girl. The rest of the weekend Scott was off so we got in a lot of hangout time which consisted of dinners, shopping, porch sitting and conversation. Scott, Toby and I even got to go out two nights and hang out with some friends. Scott and I don't get to do that a lot so it was very nice. Having Toby along was an added bonus. We actually watched an all girl Rage Against the Machine cover band that was AMAZING.
It was a little stressful and still is a bit however, because my mom has been sick. She was in some pain while she was down and it's hard to watch your mother hurting. Right now we are just waiting for some test results and hoping the doctors can help her feel better. I will keep you posted. I got a new MacBook last week! I'm enjoying it so much and because I now have a new one, my old one will go to Brooklyn. Six years old with her first laptop!!! I was 20 when I got my first computer!
Work has been a little stressful as well as this is a very busy time for me. Hopefully, after next week it will slow down.
Brooklyn is doing wonderfully. She just lost her very first top tooth. This makes number 4, I think, however she informed us all that this was a much bigger deal because top teeth are more difficult to lose than bottom teeth! Ha. She actually lost that tooth the day before picture day so I can't wait to see how it turns out. She told me she smiled REALLY BIG! I bet it's wonderful. I'm glad we will have it captured in the school pic! Tomorrow Brooklyn has her first dentist appt since some of her adult teeth have come in. I'm anxious to hear the dentist opinion on how well she is taking care of them.
Scott has been working a lot lately so we haven't been able to spend too much time together besides when my family was here. I actually had a few days where I stayed up late or slept on the couch until he got home so I could see him. I guess we were made for this life. It hasn't really ever bothered me. I miss him during times like these but I can't help but feel blessed that he is working, doing a job he LOVES and that he has work. Also, the times like these make the days he is home so wonderful. I definitely think we don't take our time together as a family for granted. That's a blessing for sure!
This weekend should be great. B is off of school tomorrow and Scott and I are home from work. Besides the dentist, we are going to lounge and hang out. Tonight however, we are kicking the easter weekend off with a bang. CIRQUE DU SOLEIL style! I can't wait. I have always wanted to go to a Cirque show. The show we are going to see is Saltimbanco and it features lots of acrobats and jugglers. I bought the tickets as stocking stuffers for Christmas so I am about to die with this wait! It's finally here! It should be amazing. I have no doubts.
Well, I hope you are all well. I will leave you with some pics!

Bliss

I can't begin to tell you about the bliss in my life. I can't even tell you without feeling guilty. Why, because I'm affected by misfortune and because I feel pain for ones I don't even know. But, today, I am choosing to let you in on a good story. I'm sharing a piece of happiness. I'm choosing to share because I talked to my friend Jennifer last night and she reminded me that I should never feel bad for feeling this happiness. She said I have went through the worst of times and that I should only feel blessed. So today, I am sharing my blessings. I am in love, hopelessly in love with a man who has taught me more about morals and truth and understanding than the world's history could ever teach me. He is my lover, my friend, my partner, my dream. I don't know where you all are in your relationships but I will say this: If you are in between, if you are questioning if this is what love is really like, you aren't where I am. I have been with Scott for almost 3 years now and I know that some of you have been through many more years and you might be sitting back saying, "Just wait, it won't always be this good" but I choose to say you that isn't true. My days get better each day. We have bad days but even our worst days are better than my best days I had before him. I choose to believe that we will continue to work as hard for each other as we do now. I know we will because we work harder today then we did before and we enjoy it. It's not 50/50 here, it's 100/100. We work, hard. We love, fully. We give, endlessly and we understand, completely. I know life changes and times get tough but I know I love this man so much that I will work hard to overcome whatever life hands us and I will love him fully. I will love him the way he deserves to be loved because, dangit, he's an awesome man.
I haven't been blogging much because life has just taken me away. We have enjoyed so much this month. It's hard to find the time to get on here to post. But I will say that Brooklyn is doing splendid. She pretty well aced her report card this month, is close to losing her third tooth, expecting another visit from her Granny and her Uncle Toby today and loving life. She is the joy of my mornings, noon and nights. She is far surpassing everything I knew at 6 and is doing it with such ease. Brooklyn has blossomed so much this month. It's almost like she has found another piece of herself. I love watching her grow into a little lady.
As for me, I'm working, getting things ready to start school soon. I can't wait to finish! I just want to be back in a hospital. I just purchased a new computer today. This household has 3 mac's and yes, Brooklyn is a mac owner at 6 years old. I was 20 when I got my first computer! I'm enjoying my family so much. Scott's brother just moved to Lexington so we're already planning a day trip to see him. I just booked our Disney vacation and we're hoping to get to Ohio soon to see the other half of our family (Scott's side- the Velazco's) I sure miss them and really want to see how Grandpa Graham is doing. I really love life and all it has to offer. I hope you are all feeling the same.

Pics

Here are a few pics from the last week. I will have to blog about this week in another post but I will go ahead and say it's has been the most wonderful week. I wanted to share our "BIG" snow, B's trip for a manicure and my little pancake flipper! We have been having a lot of fun around here!

God. Family. Love.

I've been hit by a stress bug. A big and aggravating stress bug. I wish with all of my might that I could take it and toss it into some far off abyss. I feel as if I've been fighting against myself. Yes, I want to be in a good mood, yes I want to be the care-free girl that laughs constantly and gives off the warmth of a thousand suns. Lately though, I feel much more like an ice princess. What's worse is that I can see my family through the eyes and with the heart of the girl who wants this. However, my stomach and my chest are taking cheap shots at them and in the end, my mind sits baffled at my own inability to balance myself.
After all the internal struggle it leads me to this thought. I want to love my family with God's love. I don't know your beliefs so when I say God take that as this: The greater power, the perfect lover or at the very least (if you don't believe in any of that) the utopian idea of it all. (I think that covers it) So isn't that how we are to love? Isn't it our goal to be better, closer to this than the day before? Or if you don't think it's our goal don't you think we should all strive to be this type of lover? Think about such a perfect love. A love that is never ending, never tiring. A love that is strong, pure, tested and true. Life giving love. I want to be a perfect lover to my family. I want to be the strength when they are weak. I want to be the joy when they are down, the arms when the need comfort. I try so hard to be this type of lover. So, when I fail, when I feel weak, when I feel broken and battered, when I feel like I could have done better, like I should be in time out for my attitude, I sit and I listen to things like this. I am reminded that although my goal may be perfection, I am still on a journey there. I am still a girl that at times feels weak, that feels joyless, that needs comforting. I can hear something like this and know that I still have to find my strength in something bigger. I can't be in control of everything, everyone. I am reminded that that is okay.

Pics

The following are from both Valentine's Day and our Mommy Daughter date. On Valentine's B's present to us was a giant bed in the middle of the living room with the couch cushions as I am sure you can see in some of the pics! She said we could all watch a movie in the living room on our giant bed! Ha ha! Enjoy